I Was a Spoiled Brat When I Was Younger.


It’s very, very true.

See, I’m an only child, and was kind of a fragile wee one (if you haven’t already been able to suss that out), and as such my folks plied my with lots and lots of toys. Christmas morning was a veritable orgy of shredded wrapping paper and molded plastic at the H. household. Wait. That sounds wrong…

I was usually thankful, but not always. In fact, I was a downright asshole to my parents on a number of occasions when really I should’ve been grateful I didn’t get a sound thrashing* for my behavior. As the years went by, I chilled the fuck out and now all I want from my folks (and almost all of the folks in my life) is for them to have long life and good fortune, and maybe a new pack of athletic socks, which they’re always, ALWAYS good for.

My parents, that is. My friends have NEVER bought me athletic socks, and I’m a little grateful for that.

Now. That being said there were two toys that I never got, and to this very day am determined to get them for myself at some point. It should be noted that while there are newer versions of both of these,  I am resolved to get the ones that were available when I was a kid, in their original box if possible. They are:

The Snoopy Sno-Cone Maker.

And you guys can come over, and I’ll make you one!

The Empire Strikes Back Turret and Probot Playset

Now see, this is an oddball because I was one of those kids that had almost ALL of the Star Wars toys, and I’m not being hyperbolic. But this and the original Death Star playset eluded me, and while I’m willing to let the foam-rubber trash compacter slide, there’s something about the look and sheer action of this playset that somehow still appeals to me.

At this point, I’d like to say that I’m way into rock music and girls. I’m not all geeky references and stuff.

Also, I’d like to point out that I heart you all, and I hope this Holiday season treats you all very, very well.


*you should also know that my folks were not really into corporal punishment. I can count on one hand the number of times they struck me, and in retrospect, I deserved it.


3 thoughts on “I Was a Spoiled Brat When I Was Younger.

  1. I ALWAYS wanted a Snow Cone Machine and never got one either!

    And don’t underestimate the greatness of athletic socks. My sis bought me some last year before my first 10K and I loved them up until the day I wore them out! (plus, they’re darn expensive).

    I love the Michael-as-a-spoiled-brat image. Super cute!

  2. Russell has the original Death Star playset, which now means that so do I. It’s in our office. 🙂

    Also, I have been threatening for years to buy myself a Slurpee machine but I never actually do. Nowhere to put it? Maybe? I should just freakin’ buy it.

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