Two Memories of Feb. 14


Ten years apart, strangely enough. Or maybe it’s not. Either way, I was just having a shower and these thoughts came back to me. And how I’m kind of glad I’m single this year.

1997-Lucy* and I go out to dinner (I don’t remember where) and go back to her place. After a few drinks she takes me into the room that in the short tenure of our relationship has served as office/roommates bedroom/snake nursery (really) but is currently unoccupied, save for one chair. She tells me to sit down and not move. And then binds me to said chair. And then she leaves the room, and I hear the tell-tale moan at the beginning of Garbage’s “Number 1 Crush,” which to this day is still one of the sexiest songs in all of existance, in my humble opinion, and…things happen. Good things. 

A few months later we’d break up and it would do lasting damage, as alluded to in previous blogs, but man what a giddy wee thrill!

2007-Liz* and I had been dating for a few months, when her ex-bf starts lurking around the edges. I know for a fact that they’re in contact, and I do what I can to let her know that I’m NOT ok w/ that. And that’s not to say ANYTHING of the time after we went to Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles and he was calling every 3 minutes and at one point said (about me):”If I ever see him, I’m gonna slit his fucking throat!”

So I decided to make V-day special that year. I got reservations at Cobras & Matadors, I made her a mix cd, and fashioned some flowers out of crepe paper and ribbons. And as the day goes on, her e-mails go from excited to blase to bemused to almost hostile. When she finally shows up at my house, she’s in a foul mood and we go to dinner. And she has this look on her face she got when there was something she wasn’t telling me. And at one point during dinner says “You know, sometimes it’s better to love someone you can’t have.” I hadn’t had a panic attack in years, but I had to leave the table and go collect myself. When I return she says, kind of superficially “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna dump you on valentine’s day.” 

And that night she wouldn’t respond to me spooning her in bed, which did WONDERS for my ego, I tell you what.

We made it about another month, and eventually she went back to the ex on and off for about another year. Fun.


I’ve since made a certain modicum of peace with both of these women. But they’re fun stories, no? “Fun?” No?


Wherever you are, whoever you’re with, try not to get too down this Valentine’s Day. Ok?




5 thoughts on “Two Memories of Feb. 14

  1. I’m curious about the reasoning behind “You know, sometimes it’s better to love someone you can’t have.” How does that possibly work?

    Love these stories 🙂

  2. I think it’s better to be single on Valentine’s Day. Then you can go to all the “Anti-Valentine’s Day” parties, or throw your own. You have no romantic expectations, and who knows, you might find someone (or two?) to have a one-night stand with at the party. You can’t do that when you’re dating someone.

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