Ok, I was in a play a few years ago where one character was reading all of these fortunes out loud from fortune cookies, and while this wasn’t one of them, it’s one of my all time real life favorites. From the ones that were actually in the play, I think my fave was “You are worrying about something that will never happen.”
And last week while filming the Duck n Cover Halloween Special we got chinese food…and what I think might more accurately be described as “observation cookies.” Not fortunes really. If they COULD have said something like “Your shirt is white,” I’m sure they would’ve. Mine, however, hit a note in me, and I’m still carrying it around:
“Just be yourself. You are wonderful.”
Now, I’m a sensitive, moderately brooding guy. And I’ve got some stuff brewing in my life right now I feel I should probably try to get out in words to take away its power.
For starters, I hate my job. If you linked here from Twitter, you probably guessed that REALLY quickly. It’s not so bad as office jobs go, I suppose, and it’s at one of the studios, which is not without its perks. But my boss is scatterbrained (to say the very least), and has taken to dropping things in my lap that she’s put off for a long time, and now people who had previously been very cordial to me are now getting mad at me on a regular basis. But what can I do? I gots to pay the bills…
And I just wrapped up a “hit” play, and while I don’t have anything on the immediate calendar as far as that kind of thing goes, and that’s kind of ok, I do feel a certain sense of post-partum depression. And couple that with some other arteestic type angst (like why aren’t I in SAG at the very least?!), and that makes the job situation that much harder to deal with.
Also, there’s some romantic stuff I’m going through. Details available upon request, but I’m going to do my DAMNDEST to keep romance out of this blog!!!
So anyway, after a few days of stewing and Obama winning the election and all, I decided to take a mental health day. Although if anyone asks you, I have “food poisoning.”
Drank some coffee this morning, did some dishes, played some “Bioshock” for the 360 and then just started feeling anxious. So after some thought, I decided that it had been a good long time since I had a nice, focused sort of meditation. And I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it in my apartment, so I decided to head to this small, almost hidden park in Little Tokyo btwn. the theatre and the Little Tokyo Towers, which is totally where I’d live if I were an older japanese person in downtown Los Angeles.
So I got to the car and turned on the radio, and on Indie 103.1 they were playing “Dawing of a New Era” by the Specials, which is a tune that means a LOT to me and is certainly a reminder of the Halcyon Days of yore. And then they played “Mr. Brightside,” which wasn’t AS important, but it kind of felt strangely appropos. And then the new Eagles of Death Metal song, which is all about living in LA. And then some Bob Marley. A weighty block in the psyche of Mikey H.
Got to the park and sat down and closed my eyes and was able to focus a lot quicker than I thought, and tried to just BE the sound of the stream and the trees or whatever one does when one meditates, and reached out the cosmos to provide me direction in life and art and whatnot, and after about 5 minutes, felt pretty good. So I walked around Lil’ Tokyo for a bit ’til my meter ran out. And then I came home.
I had JUST ENOUGH time to make and eat lunch when my manager calls (my acting manager, that is. And by that, I mean she tries to get me acting jobs. Just to clarify) and tells me that there’s this super duper last minute audition and she realizes if I can’t go ’cause I’m at work. So I tell her I’m not and ask if it’s ok that I haven’t shaved and she gets all excited and says yes and sends me the details AND AND AND I literally have time to change shirts and get my ass out the door. 40 minutes later (including one stop at Kinko’s to re-read the sides and print them), I’m there. And WAAAAAY early. But it doesn’t matter, ’cause they’re ready for me! It went well, and I have to admit the timing is…STRANGE, no?
Sorry if this is rambling and somewhat pointless. Just wanted to get everything out. But now that there’s hope in the world again, I don’t feel so bad taking days off from work to pursue what I want.
I’m just gonna be myself. I’m wonderful.