I always felt like you put Lucie on a pedestal she didn’t really deserve. Actually, during the years I got to know her, I figured out that she put *herself* on a pedestal she didn’t really deserve, and invited other people to come join her on it. And then kicked them off when she got tired of them.

She’s nice and all, and I *like* her, and we very nearly became really good friends, but there’s a deep, deep elitism in her that I just can’t overcome (even when I’m invited for the ride).

Anyway. This is actually less relevant than it would be for me to tell you about my current boyfriend, who was semi-permanently wrecked from a relationship *he* had in 1997 or so, and with whom it took some serious patience and diligence on my part for us to get to a comfortable place where he actually felt like he could commit to me without risking permanent wounding. It was hard, man. I can’t even tell you.

So yeah. You’re not the only person who’s been way more screwed up than they should have been. And I definitely think the power of that compounds itself the longer goes by without a meaningful, lasting relationship. But it’ll get better. You’re significantly awesome, and you will absolutely find someone who’s willing to trudge through your issues with you (as you trudge through hers, too, no doubt).

Gah, I hate this whole comment and I feel it’s way too personal and specific and will probably bite me in the ass. But whatever.